"Size matters"-Something we read "What matters?"-Gaby "SIZE."-Angel;) hahahaha...

Christmas just passed by and now it's New Years... WOW..... It all going so fast, This growing up stuff. I can't believe I'm this old already. The only thing I want to say is that "I thank god for every thing, and trust him with all my soul."
I just remembered that I didn't write anything for Christmas tell well now.
so for Christmas we went to my Tia luzDary's house, it was small but I LOVED it. The only part that sucked was that Felipe was binging an asshole but other then that it was nice, for a change.
We all got different thing in which we all wanted.
Sarah got a touch screen phone.... Jr. got lots of video games.... Francisco got a ndsi...(they all got more but I just don't feel like writing all the things they got) And I got Pjs, money, slippers,hand bag, cookies, monster, and the one thing I really wanted but felt bad to ask my parents.... A LAPTOP. Yup I got one but I need to take it in tomorrow because of something......
So yeah Christmas was great. But this week in Las Vegas was greater. We all got along (when Jr. and Angel weren't bugging us.) Gaby and I went shopping and window shopping when ever we could. We walked a lot put relaxed as well.... Even our parents had a blast. The only bad thing is that the first day we got there Gaby and I walked away just to get Starbucks while our mother went to go to the bathroom, and man followed us... Yes a man followed us in and was watching us inside, and Gaby notice (Thank God Gaby texted her mother) So when he saw that we we going to walk out he walked out (and made a call) and we (Gaby and I) stayed in the gated place Intel our mother came back. The man saw our mothers and he pretend like he was texting and he was looking at us all weird. He watched us leave and we entered the bathroom... He was gone. After that we were all watching out... The seconded thing that happened was yesterday when we were in out hotel and Gaby and I were just finished with a game of DDR, so we sat down in the back of the arcade (were nobody was just us) and wacthed Jr. and Angel, and two man started following us. Once we saw that we went to the front were the DDR was at and told the kids to stay near, also for Angel to text her mother to come. (We were trying to act like nothing was Wong) they got closer to us and I was ready to fight for my brother, Angel, Gaby, and not to mention my life. So we kepted play And the man just stayed close. Gaby and I pertained that we couldn't see then because we were the ounces playing DDr. So ounces they saw that we were watching they went to the bathroom to hide like little asshoe's they were. They even passed by Gaby's mother. WOW. But we all had fun and we stayed safe.
Oh and today we went to a Ghost Town.... It was beautiful. The people there were nice as can be. and I loved it there.
Ps. I will add Pictures, But when I add them to my computer.:)

Everything is getting better and it feels Perfect

I'm cold because my hair is all wet and doesn't want to dry....
So I went to the doctors were they take blood with needles (a person really to find out how to take blood out without needles) yesterday and I'm so prod of myself because I walked in like if I was happy to be there and when I got in there I did panic, turned pale, and my skin turned cold, plus they had to hold me down..... But I didn't run away like I always do so It's a HUGE step. :D
Another day, just staying home with my beautiful family..... Tomorrow I'm going to go to my Tia's house for Chrismas (She lives very close to us). I wonder what crazy thing are my parents going to give me this year? Even though they are giving me something I feel like I don't need anything because I feel like I have everything a person can want (well most). I have my closest family members that love me (some don't, But I do care because they are the losers and assholes in my life) I have real Friends that love me and care for me, I'm healthy, I'm passing, I have a roof under my head, and my dog Luna, What more can a girl want (Sarah don't answer that). If they do get me something which They have already it's all going to be good as long as they don't waste money on something stupid like my Father always does!!!!
Even though I know I still have lots of problems left, I feel like life is perfect in my own way..

So my neck still hurts (it's been two days already)
SO today I'm staying home and taking care of the monkeys (my brother, my prima Sara, and primo Franciso) Right now they are making pancakes... Yum.
So They are laughing and helping each other. Which is the sweetest thing because it brings me back when they were babys and franciso wasn't even born, Yet. And Jr. would steel Sara food... hahahahaha... and when Franciso being born and me taking care of him (with is Huge head)
So yeah all those funny moments and years.....
So they slepted over and today at 3 in the morning sarah woke me up (I still can't believe it because she is the last one to wake up out of all the family (1 or 2Pm)) So yeah we started talking and Luna ended up in the middle of us (Sarah and I) and I asked "Where's her bed?" (Luna sleeps in her bed that is in top of my bed)
We strated looking for it and we started laughing...."Omg I think I pushed her down" Sara said with laughter.
"Wow sara, you droped Luna" hahahahahaha and right now they are making pancakes, and egges..... :D This is what you call life

School, And partying like rock stars.. :)

So it's all cleared up.... Well it wa all a miss understaning.... Theirs another Erica and she's gose that way....
Okay I'm finnaly done with finals.... THANK GOD I PASSED ALL OF THEM...(even though I was having problems with my usb so I had to do my college level (or what I call it "the hardest book report you'll ever see) But I got it in not my best job but aleast I tried 4 times.

So yeah I made a chrismas party in my house yesturday and everybody who came was having fun
We ate, we sat on the chairs :), we talked, we danced, we sang, and played Musical Chairs... Yeah that's right We seniors and college students played MUSICAL CHAIRS and let me put it out there I WON!!!! yes we all cheated in our own way but hey we had a blast. Another great part is that we all acted crazy and didn't mind each other...
Oh and I have to state this has to be the cleanest party ever... nobody made a big mess...:D

Why are people so fake that they need to make up things about people?

Emotional? HA understatement. I believe I had all emotions that a person can have, but all in one day.
Ummm so today I had to shape that stupid egg, AGAIN. Man I use to love that class now I hate coming in their because that egg!!!! Ahhhhhh.....
So yeah I have so much work to do. Busy Busy me. So yeah I need to do a lot of things!!! OH and today while I was adding paint for the background for THE EGG OF DUM This guy named Chris came up to me and was acting all weird. He was "ummm I need to ask you something.."
I looked at him like what the hell is wrong with you boy? And said "okay"
He followed me to my seat were the evil egg was and asked me (while Hazel was their) "umm dose she know? "Ummm..."
Hazel and I looked at each other like is he crazy?
"Well I heared that you a lesbian?" He asked.
I looked at Hazel and we both looked at each think now we know he's crazy!!!! "Nope." I said.
"Erika not like that" Hazel said.
"Oh okay." He left.
Our conversation between Hazel and I kept going about that had to be the weirdest question ever. And this is all after me dreaming about David and feeling like old time. (which by the way I use to be in LOVE with that boy!!!!!) Oh and who ever started this over the line rumor must think I over power them.(aka jealous) Oh well. :D

beautiful or weird? You pick.

All is better, my Grandfather is feeling way better. He even got up and went to church. :D
Oh and last night I woke up a lot of times. And the weirdest part is that everytime I went back to a deep sleep, all I dreamped about was David. David, David, oh and his mother and oldest sister. So YEah it was so weird I was in this random place (which was beautiful) fild with trees and lots of grass (looked like a camp site but prettier. So yeah I (in my dream) was naked only with a big towel to cover me. And David was their showing my his apartment. The only thing was that it was like if we were both little kids again. Like when I were 11 and him 12. WOW. It seem like old times. And the funny thing is that I liked it. Very much. And I saw his smile onces again. WOw, beautiful. But when I looked at his eyes I didn't feel the way I use to. I use to feel head over converses. I just felt happy, but I wanted to get dressed. So the dream kept going and I was still ealking with him but with only a towel. all I thought about was I need to get dressed. So maybe it's a sign that I don't like him anymore? Or maybe I feel lonly and he is the reason why I don't want to date anybody for now intell college? Oh and the next day I saw his sister. Weird? I think so.

What's this crazy thing called crying in front of people?

Yesturday, Was cold. (I know I'm stateing the DUH!) but it was colder then anyday because all I thought about was my beautiful mother and my strong, wonderful grandfather. I try to keep it to myself which I did a very great job at it, thank you very much. Intell I saw yvonne and I over hugged her and she knew right alway that something was worng. She asked me and I told her everything then I started to hold my tears. but they came down. We both cried, that's something that helps me inside. She also told me about her Tia and how she is sick as well and how her mom can't see her because is is sick as well so she can not vist her. (I hope she will get better and live a longer happier life.) So We both cried for both of our families members. And everybody who knows me knows that I DON"T cry in front of anybody, but this time I (we) cried in front of everyone. The only person that saw was Hazel I believe. She waited for me. Hazel was like Ï've never seen you cry."
I asked her "do I look like I've been crying?"
"NO." was her answer while we walked to the art building.
Oh and to top it of I lost/ someone sold my IPod.

It's raining. Isn't it beautiful?

Well my ocd kicked in really BIG TIME. I started with cleaning Ms. O' Connel's room to all of Ms. Stzain's (which she will love tomorrow when she see it, SHE BETTER!)
The only part that I did not understand was "why" was I cleaning so much and if someone said something bad about me or my best friends I would take over the bored, which I never do. I felt like a different person. I couldn't control my feelings. Every sound was louder and my heart went faster. I didn't think much of it. Oh was I so Wrong. I know when I started to act different or feel different it's because their is something wrong!!! Man these feelings are never wrong and now they become to the point that they change me, not a lot but you can tell the difference. So yeah Let me get back to my point. So my grandfather (which does not like it when I call him that) is very ill. He has cancer. I've been knowing this for sometime and it hurt me that my mommy doesn't want to talk about. And I Understand her all the way because she hasn't seen her father in 11 years. For the reason that she has been here in the Untied states. Before I get into more detail, I wonder. I wonder how can this beautiful, wonderful country be called "The Land of the free," when in my mamma's eyes I saw pain and a trapped person. A person that has worked her youth away coming here. I've never seen so much pain in her. I know she wants to go back to Colombia, which is not a free country. All the hate, distrust, guns like they are ready for war at anytime, and lack of going outside at night or even in the day without feeling safe. My people have learn to live with all those problem for more then 50 years. A war that is against their own people. But the most painful part about this war is that people do NOT care about it. AND IT IS NOT RIGHT! Both of my grandfathers have been in this war. My father's father lost and died, and my mother's dad not only has over come hat (this) war but now has to fight a new war. Cancer.So is it "The land of the free" I believe so but when you can't see your love one, then it becomes their personal JAIL.
So when my mother looked at me with those eyes and told me "My head hurts, I haven't slepted right, and "mi papa" is very sick and I don't know f his is going to make it." I stayed storng for her. Not one tear, in front of her. Another thing that I saw was age, tried, and given up. But my mother is a fighter, she is so much stronger them me,that's one of the things I love about her. I felt helpless. So I waited for everyone to fall asleep and started to clean my kitchen.With every dish I washed a tear fell down, untell I couldn't take.
And I had to break down. I start to think "who should or can call, this late?" I thought "Jessi but she wont answer because she doesn't take calls this late, I can't call Yvonne she'll get in troble." I knew Sarah was busy. SO I thought Belinda But But I can't this would just hurt her. Because both of her grandmothers died and she is still not over it (which is alright and perfectly fine.) I didn't want to hurt Belinda but before I knew it I was calling her. She picked up. I cried and cried. And told her everything. She helped me so much. Then after we ened over phone call I called Matt and he made me laugh. He's so sweet, I wish the girl that he falls in LOVE with will treat him well. I mean I can talk about anything with him. The best part about him is that he wont make me say something if I don't want to.
So over all I'm sitting here all alone with Luna writing this,and thanking god that nobody saw me and that it rained. The rain made me happy.

all in two days

Going back to find a post that I never posted it felt kind of werid because I do not recall writing it. So I'm very sleeply and I have tons of homework (essays, painting, and the math thing I need to do) Oh and today I went to take the subject test in AVC, which this time Jessi did not go, but she went to Lancaster High school as well as Sarah, Yvonne and so on..... But it was okay I guess the math and english was VERY boring but I can't talk about it much though.... And yesturday I went to the doctor in th valley and he wants me to lose 57 pounds...... So I can be 105 pounds. (ha that will never happen) and that same day I almost got into a car crash twice, which sucked. IN "the valley" they drive like they all need to use the bathroom, wow they all need to breath and relaxs.